


In Her Head

by TheIskraeon



Series: Shelter [4]
Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Shelter AU, are you sad, i'M SAD, i'm so angsty why do i do this i'm so sorry oh my gosh, no?, sads, the amicitia fam, you will be
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-03
Updated: 2017-07-03
Packaged: 2018-11-22 21:41:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11388984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheIskraeon/pseuds/TheIskraeon
Summary: You'll be watching over us, until you're gone





	In Her Head

**Author's Note:**

> OKAY SHOULD I DO MORE I'M NOT SURE LEMME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK (also i'm teary-eyed and tired so sorry for any mistakes)

She sits in the garden on an iron-wrought chair and hums pretty little tunes to herself, flipping her pen over in her hand as she tries to imagine another land, another far off fairy tale place to transport herself to. She draws. She sketches. She appears in a boat on a still ocean surface that glows in the night light she had imagined, jellyfish floating like fireflies around her hair and she squeals because it’s all so pretty. 

She closes her eyes, lets it diminish and opens them, looking out at the emptiness around her glass box, her room, her haven and she smiles wearily to herself. She settles in and it begins. 

A loud boisterous laugh and a clean shaven head in the back garden of some small but lavish home and she feels herself laugh along like bells in the breeze and she starts because she’s never heard bells in the breeze. She tries drawing her dream and she fails because people don’t appear here. She’s the only one. She frowns and puts her tablet down and punches the wall because that’s what an Amicitia does and she freezes because what is an Amicitia? 

The world flickers and buzzes and she doesn’t feel real anymore but perhaps she’s never been real and she appears in the street outside the house of her dreams. She’s standing there but she can’t touch, she can’t speak and the loud laugh comes back as the man chases a small girl down the pavement, their father in tow and she wants to get their attention because for some reason she knows that the little girl is her and don’t look at her look at me! I’m standing here! I’m right here why can’t you see me? 

They don’t turn and instead they disappear inside and it’s suddenly one scene after the other, flashing before her eyes of fancy parties and crying in the rain in front of her Prince and she’s losing herself or maybe she’s finding herself. She can't tell. 

Iris falls down a rabbit hole of uncontrollable memories and chaos and she remembers some kind of machine and being hurriedly plugged in despite her protests and Gladio’s apologetic eyes. Her Dad is sorry too. He says it as he kisses her on top of her head and then seals her in and the cords pump something sleepy into her and she forgets and wakes up here and she’s never felt more alone then she has realising that she wasn't born alone, that she just didn't "appear" here. 

She wants to feel a hug again but she can’t so she settles for remembering it instead. Remembering the soft feeling of strong arms around her and she craves it again but she knows she can’t have it because Eos disappeared in a burst of brilliant and bloody light while she danced her way through asteroid fields and planets and solar systems. 

She wants to go back to the day she met Noctis and to the parties she took for granted. She wants to go back but she can’t do it physically so she sits in the corner of her glass box and draws the scenes as best she can, ballrooms blazing before her and she pretends she’s dancing in a crowd of people instead of alone with a sad smile on her face as tears fall from her eyes. 

She dances alone outside her head but in her head her brother is leading her through a waltz and she smiles because maybe she’s only ever been inside her head and maybe that means she’s never been alone.


End file.
